I guiltlessly woke up at the crack of noon with a fierce determination to coast through the day with a minimum of anxiety and the voices of decades of guilt-trips about what I "should" be doing on mute. Grocery shopping had been done the day before. Bills were already paid. One of the nice things about being born on the 31st is that my birthday is also a payday so I was unconcerned about spending the cash in my wallet frivolously.
Being left out, ignored, under- or un- valued, these are the worst things for me, And the more it happens the less I feel I have anything to offer. So I withdraw. And then people forget I am even here. And it spirals down.
I could easily spend the rest of the day just wading through the gazillion messages in my inbox and not get a thing done, let alone blogging about the wedding. Elaine has posted some thank-you's in her journal and I have set up an FTP account for uploading photos.