God vs. KoЯn

02.22.05

IMPORTANT KORN ANNOUNCEMENT

Korn has parted ways with guitarist Brian Head Welch who has chosen the Lord Jesus Christ as his savior, and will be dedicating his musical pursuits to that end. Korn respects Brian's wishes and hopes he finds the happiness he is searching for. Jonathan, Fieldy, James and David are personally closer than ever, and are currently in the studio working on their 8th record, the follow up to their highly successful Greatest Hits album. The record is due to be released this coming September.

"...has chosen the Lord Jesus Christ as his savior" - He was on sale in the bargain bin, making Him a much better deal than those other saviours. It was a tough choice, but it really came down to a matter of value.

"...will be dedicating his musical pursuits to that end." - ♪ Dead Jesus on the Cross ♪♫ Dead Jesus on the Croooossssss ♪

"Jonathan, Fieldy, James and David are personally closer than ever, and are currently in the studio working..." - i.e. Please don't hold this against us. Keep buying our stuff, please. Just because we released a greatest hits album and lost a member to Jesus doesn't mean we're played out and washed up. Really. It doesn't. Keep buying our stuff, pretty please.