Let the Suckage Begin

Funny how, even as an independent contractor working from home Mondays still suck ass. I had an e-mail waiting this morning from Expedia that there was a "SIGNIFICANT change to my itinerary" (all caps is theirs) and to call their 1-800 number. So I called the 1-800 number and waited. Then the guy said, "Oh, are you Canadian? You have to call our 1-888 number." OK, so back on hold. Wait. Wait. Wait. And the "SIGNIFICANT" change? My return flight leaves JFK fifteen minutes later and my connecting flight leaves Seattle one minute earlier. My trip home is now, theoretically, sixteen minutes shorter.

Then in the next round of suckage I had to deal with Revenue Canada (that's our equivalent to the IRS). As I'm sure you can imagine that just couldn't possibly be a good thing... "Oh, Mr. Barrick, we've realised the error of our ways and have decided to repeal the income tax act of 1917 retroactively effective November 11, 1918 since it was originally promised to be repealed when the war ended. We'll be issuing you a cheque for every penny of income tax you have payed in your life as well as every penny paid by your father and his father. Sorry for the inconvenience." Yeah. Right. Bunch of fucking theives - it's more like "Cough up several thousand dollars that we have arbitrarily decided you owe us or big men with guns will take you away." Tell me that isn't extortion. What difference does it make if the collection goon is wearing red serge as opposed to a pinstripe suit with a white tie?

Ivana is choked at me for precisely the reason I was distracted on Saturday, so I am feeling all sorts of rotten things about that whole situation. Basically I'm in a position where I am guilty for keeping a promise. Yes, I admit and that I personally feel that my priorities were in the wrong place, but how the hell am I supposed to set priorities when I don't even know where I stand with her? After eleven months it still a "I say, 'I love you.' She says, 'That's nice.'" situation. Before all this started I was determined to never put my heart on my sleeve again. I'm choked about being mistrusted. I'm choked about being depended on with no support in return. I'm not going to feel guilty about having feelings of my own.